Has it always been this hard – part 2

Sitting here thinking about what to do – I start to pray.  “God give me the wisdom to do your will and to love others as you commanded we love each other.  God I want to follow your will and your way and I know what needs to be done so…why is it so hard.  I know that if I let go and let you do what you do – all will fall into place..but I feel that if I am letting go ….. I am no longer in control”  This is a daily battle for me – how do I let go?  How do I stop doing what I have always done?  How do I step out on faith? How do I ….. “Pray on it my child – ask me to guide you – tell me you need me – let me know that you appreciate every little thing I do – talk to me – invite me into your life – every aspect of it – talk to me like you talk to your friends, family, loved ones…. love me”

So what do I do – I’m nervous about the schools (let it go)

I’m nervous about the RTA (let it go)

I’m nervous about what the future holds (let it go)

let it go ……. let it go ……… let it go ……… I surrender to you God ……… take me and mold me ……… I know it will hurt but in the end ……….

LET IT GO and LET GOD

Has it always been this hard?

Good day everyone!  I don’t think I told you but I have 3 beautiful girls – we will call them R, N & J and a significant other of 13 years (LONG STORY for another post) we will call him T – and they are homeschooled.  NO not by me!  but we have a private teacher.  Now before you get off on the whole “you booji (sp)” kick.  YES I went to public school and YES I am good but these school now are cut from a totally different cloth!  Have you visited the schools lately!?!?!?!?  WOW is all I can say!  Well – our decision to HS our children was one that was inevitable and when we started and saw the progress – there was no denying it!  N.E.W. (anyways) I talked with R (she’s 13) and she REALLY wants to go back to “regular” school next year.  She will be a freshman so I am considering it!  So me being the parent I am, I checked out the schools (pop up visitor) to see what she would be faced with!  Again WOW is all I can say!  After visiting the school in my district (there’s one high school here) I decided this was not going to work for me.  Now I know Nish is reading this and she is saying “Angel – you need to let go, she is growing up blah blah blah” and I agree that I can’t shelter her for life BUT DANGIT DANA!!!!!!!!

Ok – so we (T, R & I) decided on a school (after LONG consideration) and went to orientation and started the paperwork process.  We have completed that step and I am excited right along with R – that is until I find out (from an unnamed source) that the RTA (Regional Transit Authority) ride to and from school is WORSE than school itself!  WTH (what the heck) so now I am going to take a ride on the bus to see what is really going on ………. this post will continue!

So here we go……

Hello there everyone – I am new to this so please be patient!  HUMMMMM what to talk about first – well this week was interesting.  I just discovered that everyone (except for me) has a blog so I decided to get one too!  I also just got a FaceBook page (yea, I’m growing up)!  LOL  Back to my week – started pretty good all except for the snow.  Now don’t get me wrong.  Born and raised in Dayton – I KNOW what’s going to happen during the end of January beginning of February, so I was not surprised at the least.  What I was surprised at was how the “city” handled it.  Watching the news I realize that levy’s haven’t been passing and they are about out of money but come on – do we have to wait until someone gets in an accident before salt trucks are sent out???  What EXACTLY is that about?!?!?!?!

I could get off on a whole different tangent about that but that’s not my purpose here – this is my first post so….. I’m going to take it slow.  I have a lot on my mind and I’ll take time to post it all ….. eventually!

Hello world!

Well I think I posted my first on the wrong header but OH WELL…  You know I was sitting here thinking about my past week – dealing with all that has been placed before me and all of my life situations and I have come to one conclusion ….. I have issues!  LOL  yea I know that’s an “old school” term to hear it from R but I really feel that way.  I have had so much happen in my life over this past year that you would not believe.  Too much to even talk about and not that I even want to bring it all back up but GOD IS GOOD!  I was sitting here reading “The Shack” earlier and I have gotten to the chapter when Mack decided to fully trust and forgive Papa and Jesus and listen to Sarayu.  I am so trying to get to that point in my life – I need to stop worrying and trust that as long as I follow and have faith that all will be well.  But why is it so hard?  Why is it hard for me to just let go of some of the things that I have taken on that really don’t concern me or my life?  Why can’t I “Let Go and Let God” as Mr Woods sings about in his song?  I have tried and it seems that as soon as I have gotten to a point where I am trusting and relying on Papa – the devil comes rearing his ugly head and messing everything up.  I read in a blog earlier (thanks DEW) that all sun and no rain makes for a desert!  I can definitely see where this could pose as a problem.  We need the rain to make the sun shine even brighter.

So do you have your umbrella?